Look, I’m just gonna write this like I’m talking to you over coffee. Or beer. Whatever you drink.
I live here now. Been here long enough that I stop noticing the tourists and just see the place as home. So when my friends text me asking where to go, this is what I tell them.
The Main Beach Everyone Ends Up At
Playa Los Muertos is the big one in the Romantic Zone. You’ll end up here at some point. Everyone does.
The sand is soft. The water’s right there. There’s a pier you can walk out on. Pretty views when the sun goes down.
What I actually like about it – you can sit at a restaurant with tables in the sand, order something to eat, and just watch. Families with kids. Couples taking selfies. Guys walking by selling blankets. Women with braids selling jewelry. Kids running around. It’s entertaining.
The vendors bug some people. They’ll come up every few minutes. Just say no thanks and they move on. After an hour you stop noticing.
- Can you swim? Most days yeah. Waves aren’t usually crazy. They have flags – green means fine, yellow means careful, red means stay out.
- Where I eat: El Dorado. It’s been there forever. Nothing fancy. Food’s good. Right on the sand.
Conchas Chinas
Go south maybe 10 minutes. This is where the expensive houses are. The ones with the views.
The beach here is different. Big rocks split it up into little sections. You can find a spot between the rocks and it feels private. Jungle comes right down to the sand. Vines hanging over. Looks like something from a movie.
Water’s clearer here. Less people.
- Can you swim? Watch for rocks. Fine if you’re careful. Good snorkeling around the rocks.
- Who goes here: Couples. People who want quiet. Anyone who wants photos without crowds.
- Getting there: Taxi, like 50 pesos. Or walk from Los Muertos along the shore if the tide’s low. Takes 20-30 minutes. Nice walk.
Hotel Zone Beaches
North of town. Where all the big resorts are. Villa del Palmar and those places.
The beach here – Playa de Oro – is wide. Really wide. You can walk forever.
If you’re at an all-inclusive, this is your beach. Hotels keep it clean. Chairs and umbrellas. Drinks come to you. Easy.
- Can you swim? Yeah. Moderate waves. Good for kids.
- Stuff to do: Jet skis. Parasailing. Banana boats. If you want water sports, this is where they are.
- Honestly? Not the most beautiful beach. But convenient. Sometimes that’s what matters.
Mismaloya
Thirty minutes south. Big bay with jungle hills all around. Looks like what you picture when you think Mexico.
They filmed that old movie here. The Night of the Iguana. Richard Burton. So it’s got that history.
Beach is low-key. Few restaurants. Some chairs. Nothing fancy.
Offshore there’s these huge rocks sticking out of the water. Los Arcos. You can hire a guy with a boat to take you out there. 100-200 pesos. Water’s clear around the rocks. Lots of fish. Good snorkeling.
- Can you swim? Calm. Protected by the bay.
- Getting there: Taxi or Uber, maybe 300-400 pesos. Or bus from town – says “Mismaloya” on front. Takes longer. Costs like 20 pesos.
- Food: El Coral. Grilled fish. Right on the sand.
The Twin Beaches
Just past Mismaloya. Two little beaches right next to each other. Las Gemelas means The Twins.
Smaller than Mismaloya. Way quieter. Weekdays you might have it to yourself. Weekends more locals come. That’s nice actually.
Couple restaurants. Nothing special. Fish is fresh. Beer’s cold. That’s all you need.
- Can you swim? Real calm. Good for floating.
- Who goes here: People who want to read on the beach without vendors.
- Heads up: Not much here. Bring what you need for the day.
The Tiny One You Have to Hike To
This one takes effort. Worth it though.
Playa Colomitos. They say it’s the smallest beach in Mexico. I don’t know if that’s true. But it’s small. Tiny cove tucked in the jungle.
Only get there by boat or hiking from Boca de Tomatlán. Hike’s 20-30 minutes. Not hard. Wear real shoes though. Trail’s rocky. Flip-flops will suck.
When you come around the last corner and see this little beach below you – clear water, green hills all around – feels like you found something secret.
Water’s usually crystal clear. Really good snorkeling right from shore. One small restaurant. Drinks and food. That’s it.
- Can you swim? Like a pool. So calm.
- Who goes here: People who don’t mind walking. Snorkelers. Anyone who wants that secret beach feeling.
- Getting there: Taxi to Boca de Tomatlán. Find trailhead by river. Ask someone if lost. They’ll point you.
Beaches That Aren’t Really Puerto Vallarta
These aren’t technically Puerto Vallarta. They’re in Nayarit state. But people end up here so I’ll mention them.
Nuevo Vallarta is all planned resorts. Beach is long and flat and wide. Good for walking. Water’s usually calm. If you’re at an all-inclusive with kids, this is safe.
Bucerías is about 30 minutes north. Actual town, not just resorts. Beach has nice local feel. Calm water. Restaurants on the sand. Good for sunset. Worth a day trip if you want something different.
Things I Wish Someone Told Me
- Bring cash: Little restaurants and vendors on the beach? Cash only most times. Bring pesos. Easier.
- Sun is no joke: I know everyone says this. But seriously. I’ve watched people turn bright red day one and suffer whole trip. Put sunscreen on. Again. Wear a hat.
- Tides matter: Difference between high and low tide can be big here. Low tide you have more sand and can walk around rocks. High tide water comes way up. Good to know so you don’t set up where water will be in an hour.
- Vendors are just working: They walk by selling stuff. Quick “no gracias” and they move on. No big deal.
- Pay attention to flags: Green fine. Yellow careful. Red stay out. Ocean doesn’t care about your vacation.
Where You Should Actually Stay
Depends what you want.
If you want easy – walk out of hotel onto sand, food and drinks right there, no thinking – book all-inclusive in Hotel Zone or Nuevo Vallarta. Done.
If you want character and nightlife – stay in Romantic Zone near Playa Los Muertos. More restaurants. More bars. More energy. Might walk a bit to beach. Fine.
If you’re renting a house or villa – there are really nice ones – areas like Conchas Chinas give you privacy with beach access. Good for groups. Good if you want your own space.
One Last Thing
People ask me what the best beach is. I never know how to answer.
Because there isn’t one best beach. There’s the beach you go to when you want to be around people. There’s the beach you go to when you want quiet. There’s the beach you go to when you want to feel like you discovered something.
I’ve had great days at Los Muertos drinking beer and watching people. I’ve had great days at Colomitos with nobody around but fish. Both were perfect for what I wanted that day.
So pick what sounds good. Try a couple. That’s the nice thing here – you have options.
And if you end up at a beach and it’s not your vibe? Grab a taxi and try another. They’re all close.
Water’s warm. Beer’s cold. Sun’s probably out. You’ll be fine.
